Tuesday, September 16, 12:24 AM
my annual leave has been approved, thank God for that (: however, sister told me, whoever takes AL, HL or MC will be the first to get deploy to other DC for learning experience. Thus, i'll be the first to go among the SNs.. and because another SN is taking AL around the same time as me, both of us have to draw lots to see who go first. Yah, im the luckier one who got the "yes" lot, i was shocked at that moment of time. It left me nothing to say at all, i just have to go... so i agreed. there arent much of a choice except to go. sometimes, i dont understand why? AL is meant to be an entitlement and not a punishment, it seems like its the other way round now. I dont know how i should be feeling? its a mixture.. dreading to go yet feeling alil excited to go! arghh.. i just cant simply tell myself its for experience sake and just go.. i feel its rather unfair at times. yep! tml will be my first day at that DC, wonder how will it be like? so many uncertainities.. its like fear of the unknown. the staffs, the patients? how will they react? arghh... i want peace! anyway, ill be counting down for these 7 days.. hopefully eveything goes on well.. I pray..and I pray..

to be or not to be?