Tuesday, September 16, 9:01 AM
words i am lost for it.. dont exactly know what to blog yet i've the urge to write something. perhaps i dont exactly know how to translate my feelings into words. maybe one word and this is it, "why"..

im on pm shift today at the new DC.. this day came at last and not really looking forward to. yep! woke up very early around 8.3oam. because i couldnt go back to sleep. was thinking about so many things.. which i know i shouldnt have. i really want to die to myself and allow Him to use me in the plan He had for me. i feel different from the past especially after i started work, everything seemed to be just different. work cant be an excuse for everything i've done, it must be myself, my heart. i want that heart back again for Him..! i want to have that childlike faith again and obey His words. i feel drifted away.. but i just couldnt convince myself that i am. i didnt want to face it cos im an escapist at times. i want to be an encourager to people and not someone who always grumble her way through EVERYTHING! im mad about myself cos i feel i grumble too much.. about my job etc... give me a heart of graditute that in all circumstances good/bad, I'll still give thanks.

letting go
letting go
letting go